


Open Your Eyes

by EclecticRegard



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Happy Ending, Hospitals, M/M, Mild Language, No Major Character Death, Rafael Barba gets shot, Rafael never left SVU, Sonny is still a detective during these events, Sonny is very emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:41:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EclecticRegard/pseuds/EclecticRegard
Summary: "C'mon, man, wake up. I need to hear you say something. Anything. C'mon!" Tears stung his eyes again as he pleaded with the unconscious man. "Open your eyes, Raf. Even if you just open them to roll 'em at me for being such an idiot about this whole thing, please!"(Gift for my love. I had to go against the grain and NOT do a Christmas-y fic.)
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	Open Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [surrenderdammit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrenderdammit/gifts).



On any given day at the precinct, Sonny Carisi could always find himself between routine and spontaneity when it came to work. The routine of it all, of course, included writing reports, making phone calls, and planning for court appearances for himself or a witness. The spontaneity of it all came with literally everything else; no two interrogations were really ever alike, being in the field was hardly ever the same, and even his professional visits to the Assistant District Attorney's office always varied (not counting the personal visits to his boyfriend, of course).

Sonny liked the uncertainty mixed with the standard. It was just different enough to be interesting while still offering some semblance of stability. It was a lot like his relationship with Rafael Barba, especially now that it had been a little over a year and they were immensely more comfortable with each other than they had been when they'd started out. The stability of knowing who he would see at the end of the day paired well with the impulsiveness they both embraced in one another.

As he reached to answer his ringing cell phone, Sonny found himself smiling as he pondered what Rafael might be doing at work. The man liked his own sense of structure there and had everything planned out methodically and carefully to reach the highest level of efficiency for himself and the state of New York. It was a little after 2:00 pm, so that meant that Rafael was likely going over case documents.

However, the phone call quickly snuffed out that idea. It turned out that that wasn't what Rafael was doing at that moment -- instead, he was in an ambulance on his way to the hospital.

_Gun shot wound. Courthouse steps. Recently released angry parolee._

That's all Sonny managed to grab onto as he threw on his jacket while bolting out the door. Olivia Benson came out a moment after, having received her own phone call, and barely caught sight of Sonny as he fled the building, moving as though he were in pursuit of a dangerous suspect. 

Sonny had enough sense and awareness to get himself to the hospital safely, but only just so. He ran inside in a frenzied haze, looking around frantically. An ER doctor caught his eye and he bolted over to ask after Rafael. Once he'd established himself as a detective, the doctor pointed him in the direction of the ambulance bay for further information.

Inquiries to another doctor and a nurse lead him to the waiting room for Emergency Surgery. At this point, Rafael had just gone into surgery and the only thing that the doctors could tell Sonny was that he had gun shot wounds in the shoulder and neck. His chance of survival wasn't certain as of yet, not until they were able to get a clearer understanding of just how bad his injuries were.

\-----

Sonny waited for hours for the surgery to be over and just as long for somebody to give him an update on Rafael. When the lead surgeon came out to talk to Sonny, he could hardly breathe. Sonny stood up on shaky legs and listened as the doctor relayed that Rafael had survived the surgery. She made it clear, though, that the next twelve hours were critical in determining whether Rafael would recover. Sonny thanked her as he rushed down the hall to his room.

What greeted him was a sight he'd never dreamed he would see: Rafael lying lifelessly in the middle of the room on a cold, sterile white bed with tubes running in and out of his body. As Sonny collapsed into the chair beside the bed, he found that he was grateful for the steady beep of the heart monitor and the oxygen mask which, at the very least, meant that Rafael could breathe on his own.

He took hold of Rafael's unresponsive hand and squeezed it between both of his own. Finally, the haze of the last several hours lifted as Sonny looked at his ashen face. With a shaky inhale of breath, he laid his cheek against Rafael's hand and, at long last, allowed himself to cry.

What would he do if Rafael didn't make it through? The thought of losing him for good made Sonny absolutely nauseous. His heart hurt in a way he never imagined possible. It was as though some unseen force had reached in and squeezed and wouldn't let go. It was hard to catch his breath, too, and Sonny knew that was only partly to blame on the crying.

Oh _god_. Is that what Rafael felt every time he was alerted that Sonny was injured?! As though his heart was pounding sickeningly in his chest, in his ears, while time seemed to stop around him? It hurt worse than any bullet wound ever could. At least with a bullet wound, you knew how to fix it. Sonny didn't know how to fix this. He cried so long he lost track of time. When his tears finally stopped, he fell asleep with a heavy headache and an even heavier heart.

\-----

It was dark outside by the time Sonny awoke. The steady, continuous beeping of the heart monitor snuck into his dreams and groggily pulled him back to the waking world. He sat up with a start, hoping to catch Rafael watching him in his sleep, but he had no such luck. Rafael's hand was still in Sonny's, but it hadn't moved.

"I hate hospitals," Sonny told Rafael as he sat up straight to shake some of the stiffness out of his back and neck. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes -- it was always much worse after crying -- and gave Rafael a sad, small smile. "You always say that when I'm a patient. Even when I don't get admitted, you say it. It never really occurred to me just how much they sucked before, but I get it now."

The steady beeping was the only thing that answered. Rafael remained as unresponsive as before.

Sonny lifted Rafael's hand and pressed a kiss to his palm. "Dammit, Raf," he choked out as he turned the other man's palm to caress against his cheek, "you can't die. Okay? If you die, I-- I'll kill you."

When that didn't get any response either, Sonny began rubbing rubbing Rafael's hand frantically between his own. "C'mon, man, _wake up_. I need to hear you say something. Anything. C'mon!" Tears stung his eyes again as he pleaded with the unconscious man. "Open your eyes, Raf. Even if you just open them to roll 'em at me for being such an idiot about this whole thing, please!"

Nothing.

With a heaving sob, Sonny pressed his face into Rafael's chest. It wasn't fair. The man was a fucking _lawyer_ for God's sake. Being shot at wasn't in his job description.

As he cried, sobs wracking his lanky body, Sonny both wished and didn't wish he could trade places with Rafael. On the one hand, he would happily be the one who was hurt. On the other, however, he couldn't imagine giving the other man the kind of pain that came from waiting to find out if the love of your life was going to live or not.

 _That_ was new too. The love of his life? Sure, he loved Rafael. They fit together much better than Sonny did with any of his former girlfriends. They had fun and they cared deeply for each other. But when did he become the great love of Sonny's life? Just now, stuck in the hospital? No... that didn't seem right. After all, Sonny had seen plenty of people in a hospital bed and he didn't fall instantaneously in love with them.

But it had been there recently, just in the back of his mind whenever he had a moment to just... watch Rafael, whether he was cooking, working, or sleeping. Sonny had known all along, in some way, that Rafael was quickly becoming the most important person in his life.

He couldn't die. Not until Sonny had a chance to tell him just how much he meant. Or ever, but especially not before then.

In between clinging to Rafael and pacing, both while intermediately crying, Sonny felt his eyes growing heavier and heavier. His stubborn desire to be awake when the other man came to kept him awake for most of the night. When about 4:00 am came around, though, he lost his battle and feel asleep restlessly in the chair, dreaming of what he would say the instant Rafael woke up.

\-----

When a nurse came in to check on Rafael about two hours after Sonny had finally fallen asleep, she gave him an apologetic smile as she stepped around him to check the tubes and Rafael's IV. She hung a new IV bag, typed a few things into her tablet, and was on her way. No words on Rafael's condition, which meant that 'wait and see' was still their go-to suggestion.

"You're ignoring me too," Sonny said with a slight sneer. "Just like you used to when I first started at Manhattan SVU. Everything I say goes in one ear and out the other. They're hoping, like you did, that I'll eventually go away if they ignore me long enough. Well, it ain't happenin', pal. You're stuck with me." After another moment of only the heart monitor replying, Sonny slammed his hands down on the arms of the chair. "Answer me, Rafael! Open your goddamn eyes!"

A shaky, sighing breath escaped the other man's lips. His brow furrowed as his voice, weakened and tired, asked, "Cariño, is this... how you talk to gunshot victims?"

Sonny was fairly certain that his heart stopped for about thirty solid seconds. When it started back up again, he gently took Rafael's hand and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Raf, y-you're..."

One eye opened, pained and squinting at Sonny. "A little... under the weather... is all," he managed.

"Could've fooled me with the hole in your shoulder and neck."

"Flesh wound." Both of his eyes opened as he gave Sonny a tiny smile.

Sonny swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. "God, I missed you, Raf."

"... Been right here, Sonny."

He shook his head and pressed another kiss to Rafael's forehead. "No you haven't. Not really. I was about ready to kill you myself if you didn't wake up."

"So I gathered," Rafael said dryly. He took in Sonny's messy appearance, the bags under his eyes, the bloodshot look of somebody who had had a long, heavy cry. "Sonny?"

He smiled sweetly at Rafael. "Yeah, Raf?"

"You look like hell."

Sonny burst into laughter. "You're back!"

\-----

A few months later, long after Rafael had been released from the hospital and Sonny had temporarily moved in to help him convalesce, Sonny handed in his resignation notice to Olivia.

"Are you sure?" Rafael asked, probably for the tenth time that day alone.

Sonny bent down to kiss him. "Pretty sure I've already said 'yes,' Raf."

"Well, are you positive you want to work as a lawyer at the DA's office? I don't know if you'd noticed, but _I_ got shot this year, while you and your little detective friends remained unscathed."

He laughed. "I'm pretty sure if we compared work notes, that data wouldn't hold much weight."

"Sonny--"

Sonny cupped Rafael's face in his hands and kissed him hard. "I already told you, Raf. I'm not taking a chance of you ever having to go through what I went through."

Rafael rolled his eyes, though he couldn't stop himself from smiling. "I was the one who was shot, Sonny."

"Yeah and _I'm_ the one who went through it." Rafael placed his hands over Sonny's. "I suppose it will be nice to work in the same building."

"And with one of us being a hotshot ADA, we could make use of your private office sometime..."

"In your dreams, Carisi."


End file.
